Jackie's Inspirations

There are moments in life that give us clarity. Each of these moments is like a snapshot in our memory that we refer to when we need perspective in our everyday life. Recently I lost my beloved companion, best friend and humble dog. My heart was broken into a shattered mess. Much like a mirror that has shattered, I look down and there are reflections from all around the vicinity but no two pieces of the whole have the same reflection.

When the heart is broken, we look down on the pieces and cry until our soul cannot take it anymore. Then we look at each piece in a unique way and with a fondness. No matter how rough the memory, or how sweet, it is a piece of the whole. Slowly we pick up each piece and start to place them as if putting together a jigsaw puzzle. It takes as long as it takes, in its own time. Then one day it is complete except for one missing piece. We look at the picture coming together with all its broken lines and a single hole left for a missing piece.

One day, as we are cleaning out the cobwebs, something catches our eye. It is shiny and sticks out begging for our attention. Our thoughts go to the thought that it could have hurt someone if we had not found it. Our shattered memories and our hearts are like the mirror. They are there in a shattered mess in our grief. Then one day, when we are sweeping through our precious minds we come across a very special piece which brings it all back together; a picture with lines. The one major difference in the mirror and our broken soul is our soul can heal with the final piece and continue to grow into a bigger, more beautiful picture. Our hearts are truly special when we allow in the unconditional love in the knowledge that our hearts will be broken. We heal in knowledge and move on to other beautiful things on the foundation of our past. Our hearts and spirits heal, strengthen and allow another vulnerable moment and we open our hearts again.

Then my soul opened and revealed its vulnerability:

Life is a series of mirrors of our soul

Our soul can be captured or given

Oh, my soul has been shattered

As my beloved dog passed away

Bliss and Rainbows are his destiny now

No more Pain only happily waiting for me to join

My heart is like a broken mirror

Pieces upon pieces

As I gather each piece to place in the whole

I realize that the pieces of memory will heal

And become the foundation of more memories

And mirrors within my soul

Joyfully I sit next the babbling brook. The bench is new and smells of pine. It is sturdy beneath my body as I sit and lift my head to the sky. The sky was a perfect medium blue without a cloud as far as my eyes could see. As I sit under the tree, a crisp cool breeze caresses my throat and nose.

As the breeze floated through the changing leaves of the oak tree above me it loosened a random leaf here that there. Each leaf would twirl and say back and forth in the breeze as it carefully and slowly came to rest on the green grass around the bench.

My glance lingered on a yellowing leaf as it danced in the sky. First, a slow descent, then a wild back and forth and then a twirling leaf dance. When the breeze stilled it just slowly swayed back and forth and twisted one last time before landing on the surface of the brook before me. My eyes followed the lone leaf, as it was a passenger of the brook instead of the breeze now. It bobbled on each small wave as turned and twisted around a fallen branch. Taking on more water, the leaf seemed to disappear beneath the surface of the water only to pop back to the surface a few inches past the branch. Its journey was still in question.

The little golden leaf folded and flattened with the current of the brook. It looked almost jubilant in its escape of the tree. As I watched, it came to rest a few yards away on the bank with a gathering of other escape leaves.

A golden retriever came lumbering to bank where the leaves gather. I could no longer distinguish which was the leaf that I had watched as he journeyed to the bank. The dog lapped the water of the brook as he waded. As the dog waded the gathering of leaves as he trampled and mixed the leaves with the fresh mud. Some the leaves escaped back into the brook and were journeying again downstream.

As I quietly watched the happy scene before me, I could hear the barking of the dog mixed with a toddler’s high pitch giggles and the lower tones of the parents as they maneuvered the brood. The chill of the breeze was becoming warmer as the sun began to lift higher in the sky. It was becoming a treasured fall day to be sitting and watching the falling leaves.

Soon the floating escape leaves were approaching the covered bridge in the near distance. The last I could make out of the leaves entangled in a small fallen tree beneath the covered bridge. What a lovely sight.

It was a delightfully sunny, hot and humid day. Today was Sunday and a day of rest and relaxation. Suddenly my favorite place came to mind. I ran for my bedroom to throw on my favorite swimsuit for some summertime fun.

As I ran through the wildflowers in the field, I heard a familiar whistle. In jubilant leaps, I turned; hands cupped around each side of my cheeks shouted an invitation to the owner of the whistle to join my adventure. Soon my friend and partner in crime came to join. She was my best friend for as long as I can remember in my 13 years.

After an hour of swinging on a rope hanging from a large cottonwood tree and landing repeatedly in the cool water of the creek, we laid down under the shade of the large tree as we were lulled into a relaxing summer utopia. Soon I drifted into the land of nod.

In the distance, I can hear water splashing and childish giggles. The giggles are reminiscent of chimes that tinkle and ping in the wind. Slowly the scene comes into focus. At first, the blurred figures and shining water seem unrecognizable. Gradually it all comes into focus. My heart is bursting with joy and happiness!

It is a beautiful summer day of sunshine and greenery surrounding the view as far as I can see. Looking down at my feet, I wiggle my toes and lean back to lift my face to the warm, light and refreshing breeze. As I inhale, the essence of green grass and fragrant flowers fill my nostrils with a sweet mixture of heaven.

I hear the sweet laughter and more splashing. Suddenly, cold wetness assaults my internal ecstasy! My eyes flutter alarmingly as I try to determine the nature of the assault. As my eyes focus there is a face just a foot or so above mine. Then cool water drips into my eyes and I sit up and bump heads with my friend. Sarah has always been a mischief and today was no different. Again, a drip of water drops into my eyes. When I looked to see where the water was coming from, I realized it was dripping from Sarah’s wet hair as she lend over me.

Soon we were swinging and splashing in our sweet waterhole until well into the late afternoon. The only thing that could tear us away from our delightful place was the intense growling of our hungry bellies. Thus, our day of leisure and relaxation ended as each of us headed back through the field of wildflowers, in our different directions, to our homes, another relaxing day, and another memory.

 by Jackie Moore Wagner