Damp, musty is the scent. Fragrant are the blooms.
It is a walk of life, springing from death, mingling with the present.
As I walk, the presence of nature and life is apparent in every step. You would think that a crisp quiet would be what is overwhelming, but it is not. In the solitude of a spring morning walk there is sweetness in the atmosphere. Of course, the obvious sweet smells of fragrant flowering trees and perennials are anticipated, but the sweetness also comes from the morning song of the birds, the tinkle of dew as it drips from leaves and eaves. There is a rustle of leftover fall leaves on the ground as awakening creatures scurry through for their morning bounty. In the distance is a hoot of an owl as he ends his nocturnal adventures and the whistle screech of a Cooper’s Hawk as the shadow of its wingspan appears to dance on the ground as he glides and drifts in the rising warmth of the starting day.
During these morning walks, it seems to be the perfect time for quiet reflection and observance. No matter how horrible the day before may have been it is almost impossible not to smile and feel alive. The wonder of the morning walk is in the exuberance that a fresh new morning brings. This is what God must have beheld on the seventh day. I walk and my walk starts to become a prayer of Thanksgiving.
This is a particularly significant morning. This morning is the morning after a dear friend has passed. Tears of grief, heartbreaking sorrow and a feeling of helplessness threated to overpower me. A question always seems to loom over the death of a good person after they are gone. Why?
We often rationalize the irrational as we see it. Rationalization is a cover for our lack of understanding. I often just believe we all have a different understanding at different times depending upon our own life journey and experiences. What may seem horrible and cruel to one may appear as a gift and honor to another. Honestly, every experience has a light and dark to it because that is what life is: Light and dark …never one without the other and neither exist in the same space at exactly the same time; neither recognized without the other. It is interesting how perspective can bring us in and out of the light and dark without the situation ever changing at all. We often choose to see what we want to see…the same goes with light and dark…The brightness of day always brings shadows. A shadow can be a welcome relief from an extra warm sun or a dark place to sulk. A dark room can be a welcome haven for a tired mind and body looking to replenish itself or a terrifying dungeon of creatures of imagination lurking in every corner.
As I am brought back to the dawn of a new day, I am curious, sometimes, how life can seem so resilient and go on as if nothing has changed when someone that meant so much to so many just is not there and never will be again. Then I think about it in a different perspective. The person that I find to have a profound effect upon my life is not gone at all. Each person she touched carried away something. Whether it was a familiarity of a smile or the sound of twinkling bells recognized in their laughter. Each moment carries with it an impression and impressions stay either profoundly or ever so subtly. This dawning day has already had an impression upon me and it was in thinking of the impressions of a person no longer with us. Our legacy in this life is not just of the breathing life we have, but also of the impressed upon life that we leave for those still here and for those to come. It is our true legacy, our impression and our perspective derived from that thought.
As the memories of my beloved friend pass through my mind like snapshots in a photo album the experiences of my present start to mingle and they adhere to one another. The experience is one of a bitter sweetness; Past and present with no connection other than my walk and my thoughts. The only conclusion that seems to matter this day is my own personal memories of my beloved friend and the living abundance around me as I ponder. This solitary walk was not in solitude I realized, it was with my beloved friend and her legacy in my living experience. My legacy in this life is to go out and share her life and experiences, which she shared with me. Our lives are like a chain with infinite links and should be added upon and not broken. It is God’s expectation that we are to share; witness to one another our experiences and understanding of our knowledge gathered from our experiences.
On this glorious walk I cry tears of grief in loss, smiles of fondness and a relaxing contentment were the product. As I slowly conclude my morning walk, I am prepared to continue my day as a finite person in an infinite chain thanks to my beloved friend and the grace of God. As the sun is reaching farther up on this day, I am ready to continue my story as forge toward the future. In my present perspective, the why is apparent and gives me a reason to continue on the path. I revel in the sweet smells and sounds of my, not so solitary, walk and I decide to be happy. Perspective is a decision and not to be taken lightly and is a gift of God.
written by Jackie Moore Wagner
picture by Pixabay